Capt - My background is primarily industrial, where the replacement of a single bearing can cost more than an entire automobile. So yeah, I will go to my grave thinking all street-legal automotive applications are a little on the wussy side. It's all relative - have you ever seen a lime kiln?
I imagine those little particles can induce wear, assuming they are hard enough. I just don't think they will induce enough to cause the engine to wear out significantly sooner than the rest of the car.
Sludge is a different issue - some engines are more prone to it that others. In those cases, extending the oil change interval is NEVER your friend. But sludge can also extrude through a filter. Short of a BCA or ES 'filter' (and you won't see either of those on a car anytime soon) I'm not sure any filter will help sludge. Yes, if you cut open a filter from an engine with a sludge issue, there will be slduge in it. Don't be fooled, it's only resting there. Change it hot & often if you own one of those.