Charlene, I tend to believe your side of the story. Toyota, faced with a potentially huge recall could very well be trying to avoid its responsibilities. People tend to be very loyal to companies they believe to be good to them and I think Toyota, now swimming in profit, might be getting a bit arrogant and taking advantage of this. We'll see.
Let me throw in this consideration. There has been some contention above that if a synthetic oil is used, no sludge will develop and you have disagreed. This is a classic case of the two sides not defining what they are discussing.
IF the lubricant is a true synthetic lubricant such as SynLube, Redline or Amsoil, sludge will not be an issue. These are true synthetic lubes. They have a much greater ability to tolerate heat and to release heat once away from the heat source. I don't think you will find any case of sludge when these oils are used.
Other oils, marketed as 'synthetics' like Castrol Syntec and others by Pennzoil and Quaker State to name a few are petroleum products based on Group III base oil. In my view, the marketing of these products amounts to a hoax where the marketers make a large profit selling the consumer something different than he thinks he's buying. People who bought these oils may indeed be among those you have heard from.